People keep asking me why I call formerly incarcerated people "restored citizens" instead of "returning citizens." Let me explain.
In my 14 years of incarceration, I saw a lot of recidivism first-hand. I saw people get released from prison in a very excited state, and I saw 80% of them return defeated and embarrassed. And that's why I don't use the phrase "returning citizens."
Because to me, you can "return" to the streets, and shortly thereafter "return" to prison.
I don't want you to be "returning." I want you to be "restored."
I decided to use "restored" after reading a scripture in the Bible that says "God will 'restore' to you the years that the locust and the caterpillar and the cankerworm had eaten up." (Joel 2:25)
When I read that scripture, I claimed it for myself. I told myself that I wanted my years "restored." I wanted my childhood innocence that had been stolen from me to be "restored." I wanted to be "restored" to the person that I could have been had childhood trauma not tortured my mind and twisted me into something I never wanted to become.
I wanted to be "restored" back to my original blueprint and to live out the life that God had originally planned for me. And that's what I want for each of you. I want you to be "restored citizens" – restored to your rightful place in society and in your homes and families.
Words matter. Most of you really don't want to "return" to what you left. You want something better.
I was able to get my life restored despite many years of incarceration. But I'm not special – I was simply given a tool that worked for me. And now I want to put the same tool in your hands.
Here are five tips to help you take back your power as a restored citizen:
MOVE YOUR BODY
Find a way to walk around outside for at least 30 minutes every day, preferably somewhere with trees or water. Let yourself get used to walking around at a place and time of your choosing instead of where and when you are told.
This is a simple way to deal with the trauma of incarceration. Just getting up and walking can help you break out of a freeze response caused by trauma. Walking in nature in a mindful way can signal that you are safe and help the nervous system to calm down. It can help restore you to internal stability while adjusting to changing external conditions.
CHANGE THE IDEA OF WHAT IT MEANS TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID
For some of us, even after we’ve served our time, we still hold to the idea that we have to continue to pay for what we did. This can lead to our living in the shadows of life, almost as if we are hiding from the rest of the world.
What if you could redefine the idea of what you owe to society?
What if what you owe is penance instead of punishment?
If you physically hurt someone, what if instead of your punishment being shame, grief, trauma, guilt, and self-hatred, what if your penance could be that, after counseling and trauma resolution, you’d have to spend the rest of your life doing enough good for two people – one good deed for yourself, and another for the person you hurt?
If you hurt two other people, then whatever good deed you did would have to be done three times – once for yourself and once for each of the people you hurt.
How would that change your concept of what you owe to society from this point forward?
FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, DON'T JUDGE YOUR FEELINGS
It’s okay for you to feel angry.
It’s okay for you to feel sad.
It’s okay for you to feel confused.
It’s okay for you to feel resentful.
It’s okay for you to feel frustrated.
It’s okay for you to feel overwhelmed.
It’s okay for you to feel bitter.
And believe it not, it’s okay for you to feel sometimes like it’s too hard on the outside and maybe you were better off on the inside.
Don’t feel like you need to walk around pretending to be happy just because you’re home.
You’ve lost a lot.
You’ve suffered a lot.
You’ve been through some things.
Acknowledge that.
If you need to go outside and scream, do it. If jogging helps you to vent your feelings, do it. Get the energy of your feelings out of your system – just don’t vent your feelings on other people or scream at your family and friends. Find a way to blow off steam that doesn’t make your life even worse, or make other people feel threatened by your anger.
PRACTICE DEVELOPING SELF-CONFIDENCE WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR JOB SEARCH
In the beginning, you may have to accept a job that will help you get on your feet, but don’t feel that you have to permanently remain under-employed. Many restored citizens have earned multiple college degrees and certificates while they were incarcerated. You are qualified for more than a minimum-wage job. If you lack relevant experience or have no experience at all, then learn how to present your street skills as transferable to the workforce.
Some tips that will to help you do just that are:
Highlight your transferable skills;
Emphasize your education and training; and
Build experience by interning, volunteering, or by doing freelance work as an entrepreneur.
A lack of experience or a gap between jobs (because you were in prison during those years) doesn’t mean you can’t land a job.
Also, make it a priority to build a network. You can’t socialize only with other people who are in the same situation that you are. Get out and go places that you enable you to meet people who can help you and become mentors and references for you.
GET HELP TO DEAL WITH YOUR EMOTIONAL TRAUMA
If you have committed a crime (even a violent crime) and now you feel remorse, please allow yourself the gift of healing. You are not beyond redemption.
Clinical EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) aka “tapping” can set you free from the guilt and shame that may be causing you to feel that you don't deserve to be free or to have a wonderful life. But your remorse suggests otherwise. It's time for you to stop punishing yourself and to move away from self-harm and from self-medicating with addictive substances. You can do more than feel good temporarily. You can feel whole – permanently.
OPERATION: I Can Take it From Here is offering a free tapping session for restored citizens who have suffered trauma or are living with PTSD. We want to give you the gift of realizing just how easy it can be for you to start healing. If you or someone you know is ready to be free, contact me for more information on how to get a no-cost EFT experience tailored for your specific needs. It's time for you to get your life back.
You deserve it!